Henritique

Welcome to my new column. It seems like everyday I am introduced to a whole lot of
ne stuff. Dare I say plethora?
Plethora.
All this new stuff needs judging, today. I dub thee Judgement Day.
Today's judgement: The season premiere of Nip Tuck.
I stayed up late to check this one out. I had a lot of personal interest invested,
the story of these guys moving to a new place is something that I can personally relate to.
But that's pretty much where it ended. There was a lot of talking and people making googly
eyes. Gross. There was a little basketball in the beginning but then it was all blah blah
talky talky. Seriously, where were the Dinasuars? Where were the firetrucks? It's
called nip tuck but not one Agent or Publicist tucked one Star into bed. What's up with
that? It's called false advertising that's what it's called. Boring false advertising.
But let us end this on a high note.
Did you know that in the original Superman movie, To achieve the shot of young
Clark Kent kicking a football into orbit, an air cannon was placed underground
and the football fired from it.

Call your agent, they miss you.
Henry

(The publicist will be calling his agent tonight, he promises)

Henry here,
This has been a crazy week hasn't it? Yes, the Rocks didn't go all the way and Green beat the Bronc's and so you may feel the need to be a little depressed. Maybe drown yourself in some fishy crackers and apple juice.
That may be all well and good. I'm not going to tell you not to do what you gotta do. I've lived in a glass house or two. But it's all fleeting. It usually ends sucking on the end of a mylocon eye dropper. You know what I'm talking about. What I'm trying to say is that there is always a good side. All tough journeys have their bright spots and just when you think it's time to lay down for a big nap. That's the exact moment you need to pick that fire engine up and run around the room.


Take the different perspective. Perhaps an example is in order. Say you are running around and you forget that you have grown three inches in two days. Guess what? Things don't grow with you. I learned. It's called a bonk. But the bright side is I can grab way more things on tables and I can climb chairs and reach doorknobs. Here's another example. Perhaps your Publicist has been out of the office for way too long. Yeah you've gotten used to him and he's pretty good and heating a bowl of outmeal and you miss that. When he's not around he can't tuck you into bed and go adventuring. Let's face it, that's a drag. But here's the bright side, I sent him out on an important mission and H-lgt Productions is going to be stonger than ever.

Here's some poster art of the upcoming Western Epic "Knowhere"


See? Always a bright side. Some know the story already, it's coming, prepare yourself.

Suprised? Welcome to H-lgt Productions where dreams live, inpsiration thrives and there is always time for one more cookie.

Words of wisdom to tide you over.

Henry here.


Man, I gotta tell ya, It's been major adventure time here at H-Legit Productions. We are in the process of moving offices and I can't seem to find my head from a hole in the ground. The move is what I term a "soft rollout", I coined that phrase. Any time you use it you owe me royalties. So use it alot. It looks like we are going to try out a couple of different offices before we find the new perminant one. I heard my Publicist mumbling something about a market in the dump, which sounds awesome. A food store where they put garbage? I am so in.
Any way. The adventure is just getting started. Now that new office is starting to settle just a little (I think I'm going to call it office 2: Empire of Wrath, it's a working title. That or Office 2: Officer, I don't know, let me know what you think.)
Anyway, in this crazy world I thought I might share some words of wisdom to help you get through your day.

Late- H-Bomb

some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help

If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

The best presents don't come in boxes

It's only work if somebody makes you do it

I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool