more than the sum of my parts

I think who I think I am is not exactly on point. I think I might be a whole lot more grown up and therefore boring than I thought I was.
I think I need to start thinking about the next step. The next chapter. This chapter is amazing but there is writing on the wall things are going to get less fun in probably about a year. The question is do I ride it out to the bitter end or do I start the search now? I should start the search now but it would entail probably moving and a whole new life style and probably a pay cut. The question is where do you go from here? I think its a about reinventing myself, again. I think over a life time you up doing that a number of times. Or at least I don't think it is.a.bad thing if you reinvent yourself. Its a little more difficult when its more than just me.

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say hello to my little friend!

So the outside porch light has become the haven for a large family of wasps. Armed to teeth with a can of wasp become i launched an arsonal of foamy vengence. With the energy of a deployed airbag the porch light filled with foam. You ever see that car crash in Demolition Man"? It was like that, but with carnage. And that's what i did on 101010

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this is a test to see if mobile blotting is possible

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OK, Seriously, let's talk about this.

So, you may want to sit down on for this one. It's pretty heavy. Ok, I'm just going to say it. Star Wars is coming out in Blu-Ray. Don't laugh, this is a big deal and it's stressing me out.
"Henry, don't be stressed, it's all good, you can see the classic stories now in greater detail and quality than ever. You should be happy." You say. And yes, I agree, I should be, but I'm not.
No, it's not the obvious "Solo shot first" or the way uneeded added shots of the Falcon flying, I mean seriously, how many transition shots do you need? The answer is one, not three, one. It doesn't have anything to do with the "wow, that's CG" reaction. It doesn't have anything to do with a hoth creature that doesn't look anything like the hoth creature that is the same creature that just attacked look and I'm not going to even go into the whole acter that played Anikin thing.
I've bought these movies 6 times! Let's count the ways. Purchase time 1) Original first time VHS 2)Rerelease of Original VHS 3) Special edition VHS Pan and Scan 4) Special Edition Letterboxed VHS 5) Original Version Japanese Import Lettered Laser disk (yes I said laserdisk) 6) Special Edition DVD with included Original Version (which is totally bogus by the way). In adjusted dollars for inflation that's like 247 thousand dollars and that doesn't even add in the 47 times in total I've seen it in the theater one way or another.
So do you really expect me to spend another cent on this? Well, of course I'm going to, and I'll watch it and enjoy it and say things like "Wow, I can read the serial number on Luke's X-wing" and "Chewie's hair detail is awesome, especially in Jedi when he's got that 80's hair dryer blown look" but beyond that, I am going to complain the whole time.
Except when the AT-AT's attack on Hoth and Luke and Wedge make an attack run. I bet the snow detail is awesome. Oh and how about the Taun-taun guts when Han grabs Luke's LightSabor to slices him open, man I bet that's going to look AWESOME.

Anyway,
um......
yeah
Who's Scruffy Looking?

Henry Out

Movie Review of Awesome Movies: Flash Gordon

Flash AAAAHhhhh ahhhhh.
Ok really it's not so much a review as a revelation. A revelation of amazingness. When Flash and the Bird people attack Ming's ship and the Bird people leader yells "Diiiiiivvvve!" and then the music goes "saviour of the universe!" and then Flash flies the ship that's on fire and won't get off because he needs to save Earth and the only way to save Earth is to fly the space ship that is on fire into the city of the bad guys and stop the Good Girl from marrying Ming because the Good Girl doesn't want to marry Ming ( the leader of the bad guys) and the Leader of the Bird People says to Flash "That must be one amazing planet you come from" and Flash says "Not too bad" THAT IS AWESOME!
Say what you want. If you don't like this movie you need to see it again because it is FUN, pure Adam West Batman fun.
I kind of wish for more movies like this.

Oh and by the way, The Publicist enjoyed Flash in the theatre with his Gramma and now the Publicist has enjoyed Flash with Henry which through Pythagorams theory means that the Publicist's Gramma (Julie) has had direct contact with Henry and THAT is significant.

BAM!

Miles Per Gallon

All hale this great day of days! The first day of which MPG is has really meant something. The price of it all is beyond value. The tough got so going the phrase ghent has been trademarked. And beyond all of it, the future prospects are madening maddelinely.
Yes, what is today you say? What amazing occurance has occured? You and I are here, and that, my friends, is enough to be proud of.

Smile and rejoice because it's really just a great way to spend your time.

And now, to keep the entertainment rolling, here is a picture of what a broken upon delivery LCD tv looks like:



H-Bomb Out

Bomb, The H Bomb

Hello World, Remember me?
If you don't, that's ok. I've been what you might call In-Cog-Need-Toe. I'd like to say what I have been doing is awesomely exciting, and well, be honest, I can. Where have I been you may ask? Living is the answer. Perhaps not exactly a grammatically correct answer in the aspect that your question is requesting geographical reference and I gave you a verb. At least I think it's a verb, perhaps an an adverb, cut me some slack, I only go to school two days and it has the word "pre" in the name. What were we talking about?

I swim, I surf, I perform experiments that mythbusters says not to. I laugh, I eat, no scratch that last one, I don't eat. I dine. I create contraptions that allow objects by themselves. I pretend. I act. I react. I preact and postact. I move mountains and create perspective when before there was none. I draw. I write. I paint. I create things my Publicist and Manager have never scene. I wrestle Wooly Mammoths. But I never, ever spell check.

I am therefore I do.

No big promises here, Four years of pure experience has taught me that promises should be left to moments where it really counts but I'll be around. I'm always around and I'll let you know what word is as often as I can.
I promise.

H-Bomb out.
But you will be hearing from me again.

Kitchen frizby

You haven't lived until you've played kitchen frizby. The way a plastic disk echoes when slammed into a wooden cabinet, dishwasher door or glass pitcher is priceless. It's like Tron, but it makes sense.

I'm making a push for an Olympic bid in roughly 4 to 40 years.

Henry - your personal guide to everything awesome.

Subscribe Now!

Henry here,
Are you sick of waiting for the e-mail announcements that I've said or done something awesome? I know I am, but what's a average joe like me to do? One word, subscribe. Now you can get Henry news is real time.

That's it, Bam! you're in.
Check it out, it's on the side under the outtakes.

I love you all.
H

Television is a medium

Publicist here,
Sometimes at night I sit and veg out before crashing. Within those moments I have been known to sit infront of the television, turn my brain off and, well, nothing. This is the point where I am supposed to say;"I like to watch the history channel because I am fascinated with the relationship between ancient glyphic symbolism and mankinds obscenssion with putting bacon on everything they eat." The truth of the matter is that I usually end up flipping between the cartoon network and boomerang. A steady diet of Family Guy, Justice League and Thundar the Barbarian should give you a pretty good idea of where my interests live.

One my way to Spider-Man and his Amazing friends I stopped by Mtv. There I witnessed the end of days. It was titled Paris Hilton's BFF. A reality show where Paris Hilton does a reality show ala, the bachelor, next top model, or pick any other name of any reality show and you get the drift. That doesn't even matter. I didn't watch more than five minutes and I realize that I am a dumber person now than before I happened upon this abomination.

Television is a medium, neither rare or well done.

If I had a sledge hammer I would give myself penance with it. If I had a time machine I would go back and stop myself from being born to maximize the possibility that I could avoid this most grevious and unforgivable error of channel surf.

There are things that once seen, cannot be unscene. Learn from my mistakes. It's not worth it.

Let us never speak of this again.

Quote of the Day

Me:I'm going to the garage, you wanna come Henry?
Henry: Yeah, I better bring a donut.
(Henry grabs a donut)
Me: Why?
Henry: Incase I want a donut.

End scene

Everything is Nothing

Publicist here,
I gotta tell ya, the pace around the office has been frantic. H-Legit Post Productions is crazy busy. Henry, being the final decision maker and driving creative visionary behind the entire organization has really been hitting his stride lately. There are times where I am literally dizzy from multitasking. I have become that guy that carries multiple cellphone. The official work day pretty much starts at sunrise and end an hour after sunrise. That's a 25 hour day, which physically impossible but through magic I could never possibly understand, Henry makes it so.

So today I get back from the multiple projects that Henry has us working on and asks "you ok?" I say that I'm totally cool of course.
"What's this?" Henry ask while pointing to the floor.
"The floor?" I reply.
"It's nothing." He says followed with a "What's this?" Pointing to his left.
"I don't know." I say. Not because I'm playing some kind of game. I really had no idea what he was talking about.
"It's nothing." Henry says. Leaning in close, to make sure he has my attention he tells me:

"Everything is nothing."

I am blasted by the wave of philosophy, rocking my core by the sheer density of that profound statement. Instantly my shoulders feel lighter and I find I can breath. not even realizing I had been 15 pounds heavier an slytly asmatic only moments before.

Think about it.
True story.

Out.

With a whisper to a roar

Hello, Perhaps you have forgotten about me. So allow me to re-introduce myself. My name is Henry. For those who have not forgotten, allow me to say, thank you.
Now that we have gotten the pleasantries out of the way, let's get down to buisness. Mainly the buisness of why has this blog been so silent for so long. In all honesty I have no idea. I was under the impression that it was being updated daily. In fact, I actually thought it was real time. With all the publicity stills being taken around here I was starting to get paranoid. Is it really necessary to take a picture every time I eat something I haven't eaten before? Must a camera flash with every new shirt? My eyes melted out of my head the other day from flash bulbs. I got better but it was a gooie mess for a little while. Ok, that's not true and I just got a time out for exageratting the truth so I'm sorry that I said my eyes melted out of my face when they didn't. I won't do that again.

Once I learned that such a long period of time had passed since we last spoke I started to become very nervous. All of a sudden there is all this pressure on me to come back with a bang like some kind of Summer sequel blockbuster. It's enough to make your system shut down and curl up with a binky and watch Cars and eat a cookie and not want to write. My God cookies sound good right now, something with chocolate in it, maybe M&M's. I could tear through a bag of M&M's right now. I need a car. If I had a car I'd by a ton of M&M's and use them to fill up a swimming pool and build a McDonalds around it and make it one of those cool playgrounds in McDonalds. I can't reach the pedals in a car so that's not going to happen. I have been eyeing some bycicles lately. That could be cool, a bike, maybe with the cards in the spokes so it sounds like Lightning McQueen. Cachow Cachow.

So here I am, stressing myself to the point of blockage when a very good friend used the phrase "whisper to a roar." Which made absolutely no sense until it was laid out to me. The point is not to pressure yourself. Just talk. Just say Hi, how ya doin?
Kind of like Andy Roony on that hour show where he talks for 60 seconds at the end but without all the complaining.

And that's the point of this here episode in the life and times of me. Alot is going on. Alot has gone on and alot will continue to go on. Some of it news worthy, some of it fairly mundane. The point is that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me.
I'm reminded of the great words of Lighting McQueen when he said. "It's just an empty cup." Even though we all know it's a whole lot more. It's actually a symbol of how greatness comes not from large acts of ego but small acts of friendship. And that's all I'm trying to say here. That, and thunder always comes after lighting.
CaChow CaChow.

I invite and encourage you to take a look at the new segment stationed directly to the right of this column. It's filled with little out takes of life in general. Some are old, some are new. It will be constantly updated so feel free to check them out at your leisure.

I think for now I will leave it at that. I'll get back to the day to day rantings of why I have to sit in a seat on someone else's bike and not my own on another day. Topics such as why playdough is not a healthy snack can wait.

I will leave you with this bit of ponder. In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indy told his friend Sala to get horses, not camels. Upon his Sala's return, Indy, to his dismay realized that his friend had brought back some camels. Rightly so, Indy asks, "Sala, I said no camels, that's five camels, can't you count?" If I were Sala, I would have said, "Yes, I can count. I can count to twelve."

Smile, the sun bleaches your teeth making you more attractive to potential suiters.

Henry - out.

Pretending is fun

Like pretending to fall down the stairs. Everyone always gets a good clean fun. No one ever get's upset and says things like "don't do that, you'll give me a heart attack" or "did you teach him that?" or "I said no". Pretty much fun for the whole family. Kind of like that board game Candy Land, but not really.
Henry - OUT

Henrobservation

Henry here,
Yes we have some catching up to do. Don’t worry there’s plenty to talk about, Thanksgiving, Agent Birthday, and this amazing day about a man in a red coat. But I want to spend this small bit of opportunity to talk about something that happened to me today.
So H-Legit productions is always on the move. I spend a lot of time in Henrywood at a little place that does a lot of work for me called H-Images. I personally love the drive. Or I would, if I could, I think, stupid laws, anyway as we drive I like to day dream about.
Some call them salad days, some yester year, some something else. I call them Hemories. The finest of all memories, the one’s that make you smile, I think of the Line Producers, the Gaffers, the Marketers. I think how I miss all the employees of my satellite companies. I think of them as we drive and I smile.

“Don’t panic.” Says my Publicist suddenly facing me.
Don’t panic? Want to make someone panic? Tell them not to panic. Might as well put a bowl of raw cookie dough in front of me and say ‘Whatever you do, don’t eat this.’ That’s pretty much the moment I realized that as much as I miss the rest of my employees, this one I can’t seem to get rid of. I wake up and he’s there. I go to bed, he’s there, I sneeze and he’s in my face asking if I just sneezed. Yes, I sneezed. You saw it, you heard it. I can prove you were there by what’s on your shirt. Why would you ask these ridiculous questions? And now am not suppose to panic? Well let me just tell you what not to do….
Then I saw it. Flashing blinking lights. The kind on fire trucks and Emergency vehicles. It’s an Emergency! Where? Where is the emergency? Is it here? Is it me? Am I the emergency? Should I be emergencing?


The yellow flashing lights swarm the inside of the car like a hornets’ nest. The amber hue drowns my skin like a dandelion field during sunrise. The Golden …..wait…. thought forming…. Hold….the…. line….yellow yellow yellow. Emergency lights are red and blue….forming….. thinking….if light is not red and blue then it’s not an emergency.
Stand down.
I turn to see what this is all about. The car behind us is a police car, but a police car with yellow lights on top.
“Read the words” I command my Publicist.
“Parking enforcement.” He replies.
Parking enforcement? Does he want me to pull over? But if I pull over I’ll be parked illegally in a no parking zone and I’ll get a parking ticket. If I don’t pull over am I disobeying an officer and will he send me, and when I say me I mean my Publicist to jail? What do I do? It’s a riddle wrapped in an enigma and just as I felt the aneurysm wield it ugly jaw the Parking Enforcement car turned into a Carl’s Junior.

Which brings me to the point of this story and the moral of the observation. Carl’s Junior’s six dollar burger is, in my opinion a really good burger and easily worth that price.
Happy New Year!
Henry Out!

Henritique

Welcome to my new column. It seems like everyday I am introduced to a whole lot of
ne stuff. Dare I say plethora?
Plethora.
All this new stuff needs judging, today. I dub thee Judgement Day.
Today's judgement: The season premiere of Nip Tuck.
I stayed up late to check this one out. I had a lot of personal interest invested,
the story of these guys moving to a new place is something that I can personally relate to.
But that's pretty much where it ended. There was a lot of talking and people making googly
eyes. Gross. There was a little basketball in the beginning but then it was all blah blah
talky talky. Seriously, where were the Dinasuars? Where were the firetrucks? It's
called nip tuck but not one Agent or Publicist tucked one Star into bed. What's up with
that? It's called false advertising that's what it's called. Boring false advertising.
But let us end this on a high note.
Did you know that in the original Superman movie, To achieve the shot of young
Clark Kent kicking a football into orbit, an air cannon was placed underground
and the football fired from it.

Call your agent, they miss you.
Henry

(The publicist will be calling his agent tonight, he promises)

Henry here,
This has been a crazy week hasn't it? Yes, the Rocks didn't go all the way and Green beat the Bronc's and so you may feel the need to be a little depressed. Maybe drown yourself in some fishy crackers and apple juice.
That may be all well and good. I'm not going to tell you not to do what you gotta do. I've lived in a glass house or two. But it's all fleeting. It usually ends sucking on the end of a mylocon eye dropper. You know what I'm talking about. What I'm trying to say is that there is always a good side. All tough journeys have their bright spots and just when you think it's time to lay down for a big nap. That's the exact moment you need to pick that fire engine up and run around the room.


Take the different perspective. Perhaps an example is in order. Say you are running around and you forget that you have grown three inches in two days. Guess what? Things don't grow with you. I learned. It's called a bonk. But the bright side is I can grab way more things on tables and I can climb chairs and reach doorknobs. Here's another example. Perhaps your Publicist has been out of the office for way too long. Yeah you've gotten used to him and he's pretty good and heating a bowl of outmeal and you miss that. When he's not around he can't tuck you into bed and go adventuring. Let's face it, that's a drag. But here's the bright side, I sent him out on an important mission and H-lgt Productions is going to be stonger than ever.

Here's some poster art of the upcoming Western Epic "Knowhere"


See? Always a bright side. Some know the story already, it's coming, prepare yourself.

Suprised? Welcome to H-lgt Productions where dreams live, inpsiration thrives and there is always time for one more cookie.

Words of wisdom to tide you over.

Henry here.


Man, I gotta tell ya, It's been major adventure time here at H-Legit Productions. We are in the process of moving offices and I can't seem to find my head from a hole in the ground. The move is what I term a "soft rollout", I coined that phrase. Any time you use it you owe me royalties. So use it alot. It looks like we are going to try out a couple of different offices before we find the new perminant one. I heard my Publicist mumbling something about a market in the dump, which sounds awesome. A food store where they put garbage? I am so in.
Any way. The adventure is just getting started. Now that new office is starting to settle just a little (I think I'm going to call it office 2: Empire of Wrath, it's a working title. That or Office 2: Officer, I don't know, let me know what you think.)
Anyway, in this crazy world I thought I might share some words of wisdom to help you get through your day.

Late- H-Bomb

some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help

If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

The best presents don't come in boxes

It's only work if somebody makes you do it

I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool

Monumental moment of stupendious perportions

So large in fact a single picture is injustice incarnate.
I present to you the moment you have all been waiting for but feared you would never see.
Simply press play.

- The Publisher'



PLAY