Sunday, May 28, 2006






This is the best. Pat spun the tale of life before Henry and adventures of the Agent and Publicist from back in the day. It blew his mind. It's all everyone in the office is talking about.

Then Henry spent an hour telling David how disappointed he was about the choice of the company car. David told him exactly what he would have chosen which has sent me on a wild goose chase searching for something we aren't going to get. It's that flashy fast thing that gets no mileage and to be honest I tuned Henry out after the whole blackberry incident.





Henry really met his match on this one though. Lisa saw right through his cold hardened exterior and melted his heart. You should have hear Henry after words, it was all Lisa this and Lisa that, wasn't that Lisa great? We should see Lisa more, do we have any openings in the office?
I accidentally told Henry that I thought Lisa had her own life to worry about and he threw his blackberry at me. Luckily I was standing more than a foot away so I was well out of range, but I got the point.






Henry called it a power lunch. He had his negotiation skills sharpened to razor perfection. The Agent and Publicist were to be on our best behavior. We were to meet Uncle Pat, Cousin David and Cousin Lisa. "Make no mistake, the stakes are high and I want nothing less than this office represented as clock work perfection." Henry commanded.
"Sir, yes sir." Saluting, which has become custom.
What Henry doesn't know is that the Agent and Publicist have known Pat, David and Lisa far longer than he has.
We played along with the bosses orders but in reality, for us lackey employees it was just a good excuse to get out of the office and hang out with old friends. I could get fired for saying that but seriously, does everything have to be about ego with Henry?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Regarding Henry - Agents Day


Henry here. I'm proud to say that our production company is moving
along swimmingly. There were a couple of minor details that we needed
to hash out. One being a transportation problem. I allowed my
publicist to dip into the petty cash and buy a company car. He picked
up a Prius. I fit nicely in the back and the sound system is thumpin,
I would have preferred something in the Viper market but something about
laws and where I'm allowed to sit seems to have directed us in another
direction.
Between you and me, you say law, I say excuse.
We have struck up a working title for the company. Aptly named
after my screen name, Henry Legit, it will be known as Legit Ltd. Art
work to follow.
So thanks for the continued support. We are looking toward great
things on the horizon.

An interesting thing happened this weekend. We decided to have a
little celebration to honor my Agent. Officially it's called Agent Day
but I felt it would more fun if we twisted it a little to focus more on
my personal Agent. So I sent a memo around the office and decided to change the
name to Mother's day. It seemed right since that's what we all call
her
anyway. She's new to the biz so this was her first Mother's day and we
all took it as a big deal. Gifts were exchanged, some extra sleeping
happened, some food was cooked by the Publicist. I unfortunately could
not partake due to my strict diet from my nutritionist. Can't be an
action star if you can't move. You know what I mean, which reminds
me,
I'm going to have to look into my nutritionists credentials. I keep
gaining weight. It doesn't seem to bother anyone else, so it doesn't
bother me. (Seriously, you simply have to try the bottled food around
here, I can't get enough of it.) We relaxed, I napped. I did some
other stuff that facilitated changing of diapers, well you get the
idea.
Did you know there are other Agents? I just learned that when you
get down to it everyone has a Agent. I thought I had stumbled onto some
little known situation but in reality they are everywhere! That means
there are production companies everywhere, and that everyone has a
Publicist too! I had no idea. So I learned that everyone has someone
who is looking out for them, feeds them, lets them sleep on their
chest, comes running when you scream, keeps you clean, combs your
hair, gives you a pacifier, takes you on walks, talks to you. and
basically runs your entire day so that stars like myself don't have to
worry about such things and we can focus on the bigger picture.
That's pretty amazing if you think about it.
At first I was a little worried that I wasn't a star, that maybe my
ego was writing checks that my body couldn't cash. But my Mom put me in check. My ego is
the perfect size. I'm the strongest, smartest, bravest star in the
world. And if everyone has an Agent that is that honest to their star.
Well, makes me think that the world is a pretty good place.

So to all you stars out there, take care of your Agents. They'll
speak truth to you.

Happy Agent Day everyone.

Henry LGT

Tuesday, May 09, 2006




Today was a big day. On Feb 8 Henry was born making today his three month birthday. Or as I'm calling it, the first trimester of lung usage. To clinical? How 'bout this. Three months and one day ago, there was no Henry. Remember what that was like? Neither do I.









Like an avalanche of visual astonishment. The images just keep rolling. Like the Terminator, they can't be stopped.









So I know your totally Jonesin for some Henry Pics. Let's get it on!